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i am: 40...a capricorn / moon in pisces / libra rising...an old soul with a young spirit...older than i look...contemplating my 3rd tattoo...NOT a web designer...a lesbian...working things out with the g.f....a native iowan...a graduate of cornell college and ohio state...a critical reader and thinker...really rather shy...agnostic...an ardent feminist...a bleeding-heart liberal...a pacifist...and so not your average white grrl...
e-mail me
feeling generous? *grin*
Who Links Here
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June 29, 2004
treehousei want to love you
and watch
as your moans catch the breeze
linger for awhile
just outside the windows
amidst the rustling leaves.
and then ride
up, up, up, up
beyond the trees
through the heavens.
dodging planets
racing stars
weaving through constellations
encircling the moon.
swirling cosmonauts
of your pleasure
and my desire.
10:54 PM
June 25, 2004
mr. jtonly hours old, this kid looks like he's been around for 6 months. *grin*
8:28 AM
June 23, 2004
he's heremy newest nephew arrived this afternoon:jeffrey thomas (named for our brother)
6.23.04
1:19 p.m. PST
8 pounds
20 3/4 inches this kind of news is always fabulous, but especially given everything my sister and her husband have been thru over the past few years. i'm so excited!!
7:44 PM
June 17, 2004
so yeah...i'm a nerd
You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Just
because you were disguised as a toy doesn't
mean you weren't educational, you sneaky
bastard.
What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
12:11 PM
June 09, 2004
tattuesday, take 2thanks to ej and the wonders of modern technology, i give you tat2:
and tat1:
10:30 PM
something about the oomoto all those who urged me to call her, don't worry your pretty heads...i did. we've had 3 dates since. *grin*
now, y'all know i'm not trying to be in a relationship right now, or to fall in love, or anything dramatic like that. for obvious reasons. and she told me the other night that--while she likes me, and agrees that we have a great time together--she is seeing someone else, as well. somehow, miraculously, i am just fine with that. which is a first for me. i'm still trying to comprehend what that even means!
she's also very busy...with work, her writing projects, and helping her 70-something-year-old parents to raise her sister's two young children (after having already raised the first one, now 20). so i don't see her often. but when we're together....
there is something...something...about her.
on the first date, my hand brushed hers as i handed her a book she had just given me to look at...and the first word that comes to mind when i think about it is electric. when it happened, we both looked up at the same time. she felt it, too.
on the second date, as we sat next to each other at the play, my thigh, up against hers, was absolutely on fire for the entire 2 hours. i wanted to reach for her hand, but felt like it was too early. probably a good thing, judging from what it felt like to have her hold my hands in hers later on, when we were alone.
third date? we went to a party where we both knew a lot of people. we'd each be off socializing, enjoying the rooftop of the lofts on a breezy summer afternoon...and then we'd end up together, laughing and joking around. we'd drift apart again after awhile, and then she'd walk over next to me, asking me to "knock [her] a little kiss" (update: i'm sure it's been said elsewhere too, but that's a line from clueless, one of my favorite movies EVER). :) we had a blast, and i did not want the evening to end...which explains why i got home at almost 2:30 a.m. on a school night and had to fabricate a doctor's appointment the next morning to facilitate a couple of extra hours of rest (not sleep) before i drug my sorry ass into work.
needless to say, there is some madd chemistry happening here. i don't know if it's just good old-fashioned LUST, or what, but...damn.
at the same time...i'm really not stressed about it. i seem to be able to appreciate the time we spend together without expecting anything beyond that...or at least, not anything serious.
i've said it before...this doesn't feel like my life. but like i've also said before...that's not really a bad thing.
8:09 PM
June 08, 2004
tattuesdayremember tattoomorrow? well, today was tattuesday. after letting months pass since i had worked on my design, i suddenly got inspired last week. i finished it, e-mailed it to the joint, and made my appointment with gunnar when he called. it took almost 2 hours, but it's beautiful. if i had a host, i'd post it...but it's a capricorn glyph in a circle of red-fading-to-orange-fading-to-yellow--nestled in one side of a black design that reminds me of the way that the smoke from a clove cigarette rose into the tree-filtered sunlight as i twirled it around in my fingers, one lazy saturday afternoon in my backyard.
now, i have to plan for tattoo-tres. because--like flowers in a vase, gifts that i give, and the little charms on my silver necklace--i don't like stuff in even numbers.
by the way, check out mention of gunnar's recent "winter project" on mtv.com and a shot of it on the nfg web site. he's famous. :)
11:04 PM
June 01, 2004
the oomonote: tho i've alluded to it twice, i think this story deserves its own post.
i couldn't believe it when jeff hadn't yet shown up to happy hour...we had a date! okay, so not really a date...but he had said a few days earlier that he'd go with me to the 'vine, this little place we've both frequented for 15 years or more (tho less often these days). it was first friday...i.e., that one day of the month when lesbians come crawling out of the woodwork for the monthly event at the wall, but manage to filter thru every other gay club or bar downtown at some point during the evening. so jeff--agreeing with everyone else that i would never meet any women as long as i'm always out with a herd of gay men--had suggested we go play some darts there. i thought, okay...they're right. so i was up for it. maybe even a little excited. finally, jeff showed up, admitting that he'd almost decided to stay home. when i said that he'd wish he had, once i'd kicked his ass at darts, it was on. off to the 'vine we went.
we played a few games, and i was throwing better than i had in probably years...certainly better than i usually did when we'd played together in the league. it was fun...i never realize how competitive i am until i start winning. *laughing* anyway, we were pausing in between games, sitting at the bar, talking and people-watching. the bar was full of lesbians, indeed, but i had yet to spot a cute one.
i leaned over to jeff so that he could hear me. "jeffy...?" (we've known each other since 1989, so he lets me call him that, even tho he doesn't let anyone else call him that.) and i was just about to whine about how i had to track down the "object of my obsession," or i was just going to die (yes, i can bring on the drama when i've had a few). but before i could even start whining, i happened to glance around the corner at a table that hadn't been in my line of vision before i'd leaned over.
and there, at the table, talking to a woman who looked like a 12-year-old boy, was the oomo.
i sat straight up. i think i may have gasped. i know i said, "oh. my. god." there she was! right there! after i'd obsessed about her almost incessantly for weeks...cooking up these elaborate sexual fantasies in my head (which i, like, never really do), wondering how in the hell i was ever going to find her without knowing her phone number, where she lived, where she worked...anything. and suddenly, there she was, right in front of my eyes. hot as fire. wow.
my friend shawn says i made it happen...i conjured her. :)
after explaining to jeff why i had suddenly gone silent mid-sentence, i think i must have hyperventilated for about 5 minutes, trying to think of some smooth way to end up over in that area of the bar without looking obvious. 'cause while she had been on my mind for weeks, i was pretty sure i hadn't been on hers. finally, i had it...the old "i-don't-have-to-go-but-i'm-going-to-the-bathroom" trick. yeah, that's it. and on my way back, i would pretend to spot her for the first time. "ohhhh, hey! how are you? what's goin' on?"
so, on my way back from the bathroom, i glanced over where she had been sitting (she was still there...whew!) and caught her eye. she smiled at me.
"hey! what's up? how are you?" (you know, all according to plan and everything.)
"look at you...gorgeous, as always," she said. BIG hug. she introduced the 12-year-old-boy-lesbian. "so what's new?"
i told her about the new job. blahblahblah. she told me what she's been up to. blahblahblah. then, she was like, "so, what else is new?"
i paused. "well...(another pause)...i'm single again." (hey, she asked!)
"awwww." 2nd big hug...during which i glanced over her shoulder to see jeff standing at the bar, grinning at me. "sweetie, what happened?" i had just given her the 30-second version when she grabbed her messenger bag, took out a notebook, wrote her name, cell number, and e-mail address on it, ripped out the page and gave it to me. i added my info to the bottom of the page, ripped it again, and gave her that half. after agreeing that we'd get together soon to "catch up," we said our goodbyes (3rd big hug). me, walking away, grinning like a damned fool.
i'm really not used to all this. i'm really just not.
8:26 PM
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