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i am: 40...a capricorn / moon in pisces / libra rising...an old soul with a young spirit...older than i look...contemplating my 3rd tattoo...NOT a web designer...a lesbian...working things out with the g.f....a native iowan...a graduate of cornell college and ohio state...a critical reader and thinker...really rather shy...agnostic...an ardent feminist...a bleeding-heart liberal...a pacifist...and so not your average white grrl...
e-mail me
feeling generous? *grin*
Who Links Here
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December 18, 2001
the height of patheticism(is that not a word? well, it is now...)
sunday afternoon, s and i went to her office x-mas party, at the home of this guy she works with, whom i've known (tho not well) for a few years. in fact, i had drinks with him and another colleague one night about 4 years ago, and i divulged my cybercrush on "snoodles"....and lo and behold, 3 years later (after she'd been here for more than 2), "snoodles" (aka s *grin*) accepted a job in his department!
anyway, back to the party. i met several of her co-workers whom i'd not yet met (but hear her talk about all the time), and we had a nice time (even if i was relegated for a time to the "spouses' table" with the middle-aged white guys talking about venison steaks and their kids not knowing how to change tires). the weird thing was, our host had not only banished his lover/partner/boyfriend/whateverhecallshim from the house...but he pretended that he lived there alone, and that his lover/partner/boyfriend/whateverhecallshim didn't even exist!
granted, some may feel it necessary to go to such extremes for the sake of their careers. goddess only knows that i wouldn't even want a job or career that required that. but s says that most everyone in his office knows that the guy is gay...he just doesn't think that they do. so he maintains what he thinks is this heterosexual facade, when it really just makes him look totally ridiculous and pathetic.
how completely SAD is this? i forget sometimes what an absolute bitch internalized homophobia can be. can you imagine being this guy's boyfriend? and being told that you have to leave your own house from 2-8 p.m.?? of course, it's entirely possible that the boyfriend banishes s's co-worker when he's the one having the office party...tho i think that that is even more pathetic.
i guess it just illustrates that no matter how much money you make...no matter how well you've invested...no matter how nice or new or expensive (or filled with exquisite treasures you've gathered from your global travels) your house is...in no matter how prestigious a neighborhood (the one shared by the multi-millionaire founder of the limited, victoria's secret, abercrombie & fitch, etc.)...you can still be unhappy enough with and ashamed enough of your life and how you live it that you make these choices.
3:35 PM
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