January 31, 2002
i just love how she thinks...i know, i know...you don't wanna really see this entire article up here...you wanna see the first few lines, and then a link for "more". but hey...i don't know how to do that. so there you have it. enjoy. :)
Last Woman Standing
February/March 2002 © One World Magazine
Before there was such a thing as neo-soul, Michelle Johnson was splicing and dicing P-funk with Hendrix riffs and go-go beats. Before poetry became spoken word and Prince became urban alternative, Michelle discovered jazz while hanging with her pops, a part-time saxophonist. Her love for the form, the fusion and the fabric was the kind of jonesin' that causes folks to change their names and forsake all things unresponsive and indifferent.
Hence, the birth of Me'Shell NdegéOcello, who spits caustic lyrics of desire and struggle, and spanks mellifluous music of the bass, guitar and keyboards. Her knack for weaving political commentary with religious metaphors and pickup lines, kicked off on her 1993 debut PLANTATION LULLABIES, has always been rebellious and seducing.
Almost ten years and three albums later, Me'Shell is as crunk as ever. Her latest defiant effort, COOKIE: THE ANTHROPOLOGICAL MIXTAPE, is a sonic aromatherapy. With lines like, "You sell your soul like you sell a piece of ass/ Slave to the dead white leaders on paper," she invigorates and flushes the senses with anger, shame and enthusiasm. At turns, more so now than ever, Me'Shell (or Bashir, as she is known by her homies) also sounds relaxed. For those who got lost in the sauce with PEACE BEYOND PASSION or her subdued masterpiece BITTER, Me'Shell serves her rhymes au jus so even ig'ant muhfuhs can understand. While in the middle of touring on a beautiful autumn Saturday afternoon, Me'Shell shares why she loves black people so much, and why our liberation is still so necessary.
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Nicole:On COOKIE, you seem to be making an implicit critique of hip-hop culture, materialism and capitalistic consumption.
Me'Shell: Yeah, but you know, it's beyond hip-hop culture. Hip-hop is dead. Somebody said, "Oh, hip-hop is dying." You can't kill something that's already dead. And I'm sorry, I just... I don't even do hip-hop. We're just all some watered-down derivative, you know. There's some neophytes in the vibe, but basically, hip-hop being counterculture, underground culture, that's sorta dead. That's not going down. And it's all mainstream. It's just a bunch of pop music. But I blame the values on... Basically, everyday, white folks got ancestor worship. They pass around their Benjamins and their Hamiltons and their Lincolns and their George Washingtons, and that's the vibe that permeates the culture: That money is this thing that will change your life, free your Self. And that's what I attribute the downfall to. No one's striving to be Miles Davis. Everybody's striving to get paid. And, you know, I wanna be like Miles Davis.
Nicole: Do you see yourself as a musical revolutionary?
Me'Shell: Not even that, but like, be creating some new shit, trying to be the best musician I can be. That's where I am. I wanna eat some good food, drink some good wine. I mean, that Cristal shit kills me, 'cause if you put these motherfuckers up into wine country, they wouldn't (hang). So call me critical or whatever; stuck-up, highbrow. That's what's been hard; people see me as this highbrow, sort of like weird alt-Negro. And that's not where I come from. I come from South Beach, and I can flip that language, it's all about me being whoever I need to be in life. But it's this "keepin' it real'" that's keepin' it real dumb, and I just can't really be down with that. Mediocrity is celebrated. My keyboard player the other day was like, "You got these mediocre singers or whatever, people dig 'em. But when your out on the basketball court, if you was just throwing up bricks, would they be hailing you?" No, they wouldn't.
Nicole: Some cats that I've spoken to, women and men, felt you were setting yourself up a certain way with "If That's Your Boyfriend (He Wasn't Last Night)." Now you're talking about pussy, and they're asking, "Is she doing a marketing thing? Was she trying to get one audience, and now she's trying to get another audience?"
Me'Shell: I hope you write this down and quote me. Ya know, gay life, the whole gay lifestyle, is patterned off of a white gay male aesthetic. Now, that ain't my vibe. And I definitely ain't like some crunchy Birkenstock, "put all the men on another planet" (type). I love my brothers. I love my sisters. I am sexually functional with both. That's fucking boring. (laughter) If you fine, you fine. That's it. I call it like I like it. Stop being so close-minded. Worst thing you could be is a close-minded gay person. And worst thing you could be is a judgmental black person. Worst thing you could be is a dogmatic Christian. So it's like, get off my back.
Nicole: You've sampled Angela Davis, Gil Scott-Heron and Dick Gregory on this album. Have you ever gotten the chance to meet any of them?
Me'Shell: Oh yeah, definitely. If I tell you what we talk about, we'll all go to jail. (laughter) I can't tell you what goes on (with) folks.
Nicole: So you still think the revolution won't be televised?
Me'Shell: Actually, the revolution got a corporate sponsor, and so it could happen. Or either Quincy Jones, so it could still go down, get a write-up in VIBe. Hey, Bob Marley said, "The revolution we all looking for, it won't be of the flesh." I'm trying to kick the revolution of the mind off. I only question three things in our society: Why we don't have free health care. Why we don't have one man one vote. And why is college subsidizing your free education? Am I crazy?
Nicole: No, you're not. You go to a country like Cuba, which gets criticized a lot, and they have two of those three things.
Me'Shell: And we're the richest country in the world and we got homeless people. And we use 40 percent of all the world's resources. I'm not fuckin' crazy. And we just took over Afghanistan.
Nicole:You're a practicing Muslim. What are your thoughts of the war?
Me'Shell: You know, I got the faith of a Christian, the seal of a Muslim, and the love of a Jew. I'm just trying to work it out for myself. Because basically, God is great; religion and people are fucked up. (laughter) It's hard for me on this "united we stand." Because, united we kill, murder and cheat people. My thing is, who am I to judge? To forgive is divine. Basically, you see all these people murdered in the city, and then you're crying over some goddamn phallic buildings. So you gonna just send some other young men to go over there to kill and slaughter people? I'm not down. I'm definitely not down. Sorry. Tell me like it is. Just say there's a lot of oil there and we need it.
Nicole: So you on the road now?
Me'Shell: I'm on the road. I'm in New Orleans, the land of debauchery. This shit is crazy. I got out and play. I like to play.
Nicole: Why?
Me'Shell: I like people. I like to go out and hang out. And I don't really go to clubs myself personally, so if I go play, I get an experience with the people. I kinda dig that, I went to some club in New York, Cheetah? That shit scared me.
Nicole: I'm surprised you don't go out much. Is that by choice because you're a Mom?
Me'Shell: Yeah, when I'm home, I'm home, and I play my PlayStation. I watch my movies. I don't like gay clubs, and I don't like straight clubs. And so it's hard to find somewhere I really wanna go. Not just 'cause of sexuality, but the drunken thing? Kinda gets to me.
Nicole: And you don't drink.
Me'Shell: Can't swing it really. That's a little hard for me. I wanna go to a club and we all do mushrooms. I'll talk to Mother Earth in a minute. I'll talk to the trees; we have no problem. But I can't do the liquor. Like, weed is a natural mystic (but) alcohol is a known depressant, and that's legal. I can't, really. People act stupid when they're drunk.
Nicole: But the interesting thing is, a drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts. People act stupid, but a lot of times, they're acting their natural self.
Me'Shell: Ooooo! I'ma quote that. See, when I'm drunk, I just get depressed. "The world, it's just so fucked up." So I can't drink.
Nicole: Maybe you just feel depressed all the time though, and you're really just trying to control it.
Me'Shell: That's why I smoke weed! Most people think I'm depressed. You ever read this book called Parable of the Sower (by Octavia E. Butler)?
Nicole: Mmm-hmm.
Me'Shell: I'm hyper-empathetic. I can't help it. I see shit, and I feel it so deeply. Especially when I'm in New York. I was there September 11, and I just felt it so deeply.
Nicole: What grieves you so?
Me'Shell: That we hate each other so easily. That we judge each other unfoundedly. That we believe our shit is right, and that for the last 30-something years of my life, I've been thinking, "it's okay, it's okay," and it's really not. I don't think people are ready to realize. Like, I believe in a divine consciousness. I truly do. A god, whatever you need to call it. But basically, we some animals. We just some high-thinking animals. We on some "unga-bunga" shit. Like, "I'ma get my bat and hit you back!" And I just feel like, I can't really live on that frequency.
Nicole: Did you feel at all that what you were doing was inconsequential?
Me'Shell: Yeah! I don't give a fuck. Fuck my record. I could care less. Everyday, I'm like, whew, I just gotta be a good person and be loving, make some babies.
Nicole: Do you find it hard to make those connections between being healthy, and politically in sync and conscious?
Me'Shell: Nah. The only thing I can say is, it's not that deep. I'm just me. I'm just myself. My music is just an extension of my ideas. Basically, I feel like I have a tribe. We just wanna make love, make some babies, talk about the world, constantly keep our minds moving. I've been around a lot of my elders. The elder statespeople of black politics, so to speak. And I think what I've noticed with older people? They refuse to believe other motherfuckers have ideas. And I'm trying to be aware, talk to people. I like to be around old people, young people, crazy people, thugs. I like 'em all. I just try to see what they're thinking, what they're feeling. And I love black people. I love them. Oh my God, they are the fruit of the earth to me. Africa's some dope shit, right? Africa is the mother of creation, right? But basically, if you look all around the world, everybody copies black America. American blacks, just, black Americans - I don't know what to call myself anymore 'cause I can't connect with the American shit - the neo-negro that I am? Neo-politic? It's some other shit that everybody is tyring to tap into. The people before me, my ancestors, were brought here, and they have instilled in me the tradition of improvisation. We are the most improvisational motherfuckers in the world. "Fuck it: we made a record company? Let's make a magazine. Let's do some clothes." We are the motherfuckers of invention. We have taken that grand idea of entrepreneurship and it has infected our whole being. And I really like, that's what I'm on. To me, the journey is to cultivate and somehow express stuff that I really feel they trying to kill out in us. Like this single family home, 2.5 kids shit? It don't work for black people. Sorry, it ain't working for them, either. And when I say "them," I'm talking about those who have tapped into this capitalistic sort of culture. So that's all I feel. Just cultivate what I know is in me, like in my - like Rebecca (Walker) told me - my blood memory.
Nicole: Rebecca always comes up with dope shit.
Me'Shell: I need to interview her. 'Cause she teaches me shit every day. And it's like basically, she probably wouldn't agree with this, but she's totally deconstructed the idea of race because it's not real. It's really not real.
Nicole: It's something we constructed, just to make ourselves feel comfortable living in this crazy world.
Me'Shell: Right. So I'm trying to connect to my blood memory, and not my skin. And in my blood memory, I've been forced to survive motherfuckers who don't want me to survive. And I blend that with my idea as seeing myself, as seeing this culture... (pauses) I'm an obsolete machine. My ancestors were obsolete industrial fuckin' machines forced to incorporate and integrate themselves into a society that did not want them. But now they see and take all that I have, and they try to make it theirs. And in the midst of all that, I'm supposed to survive, and the only thing I'm holding onto are some memories, some ideas. Africans had no respect for us because we had no initiation process, and our initiation process has become prison. And basically, I live in a society where they call me a pagan, witchcraft, a this, a that. And they on some ancestor worship every day of their life. Every day they pass around their fuckin' money with Hamilton on it, and Benjamin Franklin on it, and George Washington. I deal with their ancestor worship and their ideas every fuckin' day of my life. And so I'm just trying to tap into my memory. I'm trying to get back to the dirt and I'm trying to die a good death. And I don't think I can do that trying to be on MTV.
4:52 PM
January 29, 2002
is your "bling bling" dripping blood?a few months ago, i saw a story on primetime about "conflict diamonds," otherwise known as "blood diamonds"—i.e., diamonds coming from mines that are under the control of rebel groups in sierra leone and other parts of africa. the rebels use the profits from the mines to purchase arms...which means that the sale of these diamonds funds the ongoing wars in these countries. the rebels have raped and murdered countless people, terrorizing them into submission to maintain control of the mines. those who survive are maimed...thousands of people living in sierra leone—including women and children—have had their hands, arms, feet, legs, noses, ears, lips, or other body parts cut off by the rebels. i mean, there are literally thousands of people who have been maimed for life! and all out of a combination of greed and the desire to continue fighting. thinking about it makes my physically ill, and i'm not even a victim or a witness. i made a decision on the spot that i would never, ever purchase or accept a diamond...because, as was pointed out on primetime—even though perhaps 10-15% of the world's diamonds come from sierra leone, there is no way to determine (at least not currently) with any level of certainty whether the one you buy from your local jewelry store has come from sierra leonean mines.
sometime around x-mas, i was at home on a weekday and caught an episode of the view on which someone was flaunting a huge diamond ring and they were all talking about engagement rings, and how important it was for the diamond to be of a certain number of carats, etc. i know it was just supposed to be frivolous "girl talk" and was probably not intended to be taken seriously...but all i could think was, how can they even have this conversation with any measure of lightheartedness?? is it that people are just not aware of what's going on in africa...or that they convince themselves that the diamonds they're wearing came from someplace else...or that they just don't care?? i never took the time to write to the view and express my horror at the discussion they had that day, but i will.
then, of course, there are the countless movie stars, rappers, and other celebrities who sport diamonds in their teeth, on their wrists and fingers, around their necks, and goddess-only-knows where else. as if their shameless displays of conspicuous consumption aren't enough, do they have even the SLIGHTEST idea that all that "bling bling" may have come at the price of a parent's life, or a child's limb??
surely, there are current and potential diamond consumers out there who aren't aware of it and would be as horrified as i am to know about what's happening in sierra leone, angola, and the congo. legislation (HR 2722) has been passed that should eventually help, but people need to be made aware of what's really going on.
i urge you to check these links for more information. pass them on. tell this story.
did someone die for that diamond?
campaign to eliminate conflict diamonds
jewelers of america info.
4:25 PM
January 25, 2002
valentine's day is just around the corner... 
i've got too much goin' on today to write about what i really wanna write about, so it'll have to wait. but meanwhile, i just wanted to post this pic, 'cause it's one of my favorites. *s*
9:41 AM
January 23, 2002
rap & reparationssaturday nite, my "cat & all that" sherri and i went to see the proclaimed "godfathers of rap," the last poets at little brothers. their set didn't start until about 11:45, so we enjoyed 3 hours of local poets doin' their thang (which would have been totally cool, except for that we stood the whole time and my poor, tired, 37-year-old feet just can't do that anymore without a protest. *grin*). it was a great show...the last poets were doing spoken word over a drum beat way before it was cool, and they've never had a problem speaking their collective mind about racism, the government, our racist government, and a whole host of other topics that most musicians before public enemy wouldn't even touch. these brothas (led by umar bin hassan and abiodun oyewole) have been around a long time, but their message is just as relevant today as it was back in the '70s.
only one thing disturbed me...oyewole's homophobic comment (i'm paraphrasing here) about how there won't be any homosexuality after "the revolution" because "that shit ain't right." whatever. *rolling eyes* get over yourself. moving on....
so then yesterday, s and i went to see/hear randall robinson, author of the debt: what america owes to blacks, as one of the lectures in the (university) president's and provost's year-round diversity lecture series. it was one of the better lectures i've seen/heard in this series in the two years it's been going on...i really learned some fascinating (albeit disturbing) facts. for example...robinson earned a law degree from harvard. 30 years later, he discovered that the university's seal reveals how the history of this prestigious institution is rooted in slavery. depicted on the seal, beneath the word veritas ("truth" in latin), are bundles of sugar cane...because the university was built, in part, using profits that a benefactor had made from selling sugar cane that was raised and harvested by slaves! i immediately wondered if the black students, faculty, and staff at harvard are aware of this fact; i'm sure it's not something the university publicizes....
robinson also pointed out how the art work in the rotunda of our nation's capitol—including the apotheosis of washington, the painting on the inside of the dome, and the frescoes beneath it—not only depicts no people of color (with the exception of pocahontas), but includes no evidence whatsoever that slavery even happened, tho the very blocks of stone used to construct the building were cut and hauled by slaves! amazing. not surprising...but amazing.
i disagree with robinson, tho, on a couple of points (perhaps more, once i've read his books):
1) i really hate the term "black" as a noun...as in, what america owes to BLACKS. i hate it for the same reason that i hate the term "gay" used as a noun...as if "black" (the adjective) is all black people are...as if "gay" (the adjective) is all gay people are. to me, it's important to include the "people" part...otherwise, people are reduced—from the complex, multidimensional beings that we really are—to just one trait, one aspect of ourselves...and that ain't right. it may be "only" a matter of semantics to some, but words and how they're used have a lot of power, and we need to use them in a way that acknowledges that.
2) his belief that we have to argue successfully for reparations for black americans before we can even start talking about exactly what form those reparations will take. the thing is, there are a lot of (white) people who will never even consider supporting reparations if they think it means that the federal government will simply write a whole mess of checks out to black folks. to get the kind of support needed to do this, we have to be able to explain that what is really being discussed are huge investments in educational, entrepreneurial, and other kinds of opportunities for black people...because, let's face it...reparations for black people will never happen unless there is "buy-in" by the people in power (most of whom, unfortunately, are white).
fascinating stuff...and proof that there are great things to do in this city if you take the time to find them.
2:32 PM
January 17, 2002
is she not the CUTEST??
new promo photo...whew...*grin*
12:41 PM
January 16, 2002
wanting the "fairy tale"i have so much to do and have absolutely NO business blogging instead of preparing for my one-on-one meeting with a university vice president tomorrow, or finishing up my cover letter for that job for which i'm applying...but i really don't feel like doing any of that right now. i've got so much on my mind. including....
i was watching the season's first episode of queer as folk last nite, and it got me thinking about the whole gay marriage thing. in fact, i was thinking about it so intently (actually, i was writing an essay about it in my head...*grin*) in the shower this morning that i forgot to condition my hair! (and it wouldn't be the first time i've done that...*lol*). i must have dozed during the final episode of last season, when lindsay asked melanie to marry her, and melanie said "no" (because it's not legal...as a lawyer, maybe that's what she was focusing on).
s and i have had this very conversation. she takes the melissa etheridge stance (or at least her stance when she was still with that faux-homo, hetero-heifer, julie cypher) on the topic...which is basically that "marriage" or any kind of a commitment-type ceremony between two people of the same sex is pretty much pointless, as long as it doesn't carry with it the legality and privileges that heterosexual marriage does. and i've agreed...intellectually, anyway.
the problem is...i want the fairy tale! like most other little girls, i was raised to want it, and i learned that lesson well. i'm not talking about an outrageously expensive white dress (or 2), or a bridal party of 24, or ugly mauve bridesmaid's dresses they'll never wear again. and i'm certainly not talking tuxedos, for EITHER of us (actually, my fantasy is that i'd be wearing a sleek armani suit in taupe silk, ala jodie foster...but that's beside the point. *grin*). but part of me very much wants a ceremony...some kind of public display of our commitment to each other, witnessed by people we love (that is, those of whom who would show up)...and celebrated in a big, big way! i've always fantasized about a really short (but lovely) ceremony followed by a huge party.
but...unless we move to vermont (which is highly unlikely, given that there are, like, 7 black people there, and 4 are looking to move out-of-state), such a ceremony would be for appearances only...no legality whatsoever...which really, really sucks (but that's a whole 'nother post...).
we've been together almost 4 years. we've talked about the possibility of having a child (or even children) together. and most importantly, we love and are committed to each other. so what's my deal? why do i want, maybe even need, this external validation of our relationship? one part of me desires this validation, this formal recognition, from my parents and other family members...i mean, it would be nice to plan a trip to see my parents and know that they won't forbid us to sleep in the same room. but realistically, who's to say a ceremony would accomplish that, if they're not inclined to grant us this validation already??
part of the problem, i suppose, is this: behind the intellect, behind the "out-and-proud", behind the silliness, behind the surefooted, logical capricorn, behind everything else that i am...is a little girl seeking approval...from parents and family, and from society. it also doesn't help that, as much as i hate it, i'm a romantic. i watch a wedding story on the learning channel and get all sappy and teary-eyed. i like happy endings. and the concept of a ceremony to celebrate the love that i've found, the truly magical way that i found her, and everything that we want for our future, is very attractive.
i really don't know how this will work out. if i decide that i truly want a ceremony, despite its meaninglessness in the eyes of the law (and probably my family), i know that s would indulge me. i guess i still need to determine if i want to indulge me.
4:37 PM
January 14, 2002
hurray for wordplay!! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Each year the Washington Post's Style Invitational asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition.
Here are the 2001 winners:
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got > extra credit)
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
And, the pick of the literature:
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
5:29 PM
January 03, 2002
my sentiments exactly..."We should all ask ourselves, will we be safer after the bombing campaign is over or, rather, will we have exacerbated anti-American sentiment in the Middle East, Asia and other countries, leading to further attacks? By not addressing why there is so much anti-U.S. sentiment, are we really getting to the root of the problems?"
—Surina Khan, executive director of the International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission, as quoted by the Washington Blade, Nov. 16.
9:46 AM
January 02, 2002
happy fuckin' new yearafter september 11, i wondered...i think we all wondered...if we would even be here to see 2002...but here we are...here but by the grace of "someone" who thinks we deserve it. i'm not so sure that we do....
resolutions? nope. i hate new year's resolutions. they're so damned cliched. plus, it's not as if i make up my mind to do something only once a year.
despite the dawn of another year—and the fact that we even made it to this point—this doesn't really feel like any kind of a "new beginning". i have the same job, and all the stress and drama and exhaustion that accompany it, and there's no end to that in sight. i have the same family drama (tho at least i've written and sent THE LETTER, and await its impact and outcome...). as a country, it just feels like we're somewhere in the middle of some shit that doesn't make sense, some shit over which we have no control, some shit that's difficult to see past. if only it were as simple as finding and assassinating osama bin laden. i still can hardly believe that so many people see that as an end to the trouble, an end to this "war on terrorism".
it is all so overwhelming. but even i can cut loose once in awhile and just enjoy my life. i actually had a great time on new year's eve. we stayed home, and sherri came over, and we ended up drinking labatt's and partaking of the "hiliter" and listening to music (jay z and dmx)...and acting like fools, dancing thru the living and dining rooms, scaring the bejesus outta kala and harper lee (the cats). THEN s got out her guitar, and it was over! those 2 together are just crazy...a comedy duo of epic proportions. a coupla years ago, who would have ever thought we could all hang together?? they're the two people on this planet whom i cherish most, and chillin' with them both together is one of my very favorite things in life. i really am very lucky....
i guess, as always, it's about balance...remembering (and being thankful for) what brings me joy, as well as staying aware of everything that doesn't. i just need to keep it all in perspective.
4:25 PM
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