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"No one's striving to be Miles Davis. Everybody's striving to get paid. And, you know, I wanna be like Miles Davis."
~Meshell Ndegeocello


order dance of the infidel

click for all things meshell


reading...
life on the color line: the true story of a white boy who discovered he was black by gregory howard williams

recently finished...
anagrams by lorrie moore

the dew breaker by edwidge danticat
(thanks, deshi!)

the mysteries of pittsburgh by michael chabon

she's not there: a life in two genders by jennifer finney boylan

venture...
all about george
anziblog
bgb.com
the brotherlove
btrfly_locs
the desh in me
ej flavors
kevin.daily
lynne d johnson
naya hri
NegroPlease
nubian soul
on a path
pheline
sister outsider
prime time
small hands
studpoet.com
that bitch



 
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i am: 40...a capricorn / moon in pisces / libra rising...an old soul with a young spirit...older than i look...contemplating my 3rd tattoo...NOT a web designer...a lesbian...working things out with the g.f....a native iowan...a graduate of cornell college and ohio state...a critical reader and thinker...really rather shy...agnostic...an ardent feminist...a bleeding-heart liberal...a pacifist...and so not your average white grrl...

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feeling generous? *grin*





Who Links Here


an esoteric soul
 
August 09, 2002  

yikes

i got a call yesterday from the woman with whom i interviewed for a new job a couple of weeks ago, asking if i'd come in again. we scheduled it for monday (a vacation day for me), but then she called back to ask if i was available to come in today. so "in again" i went, this morning.

i loathe job interviews. i've never been a "salesperson," in the stretch of anyone's imagination, and interviews are really all about "selling" yourself...which a) feels kinda sleazy, and b) is really challenging for anyone with lifelong self-esteem issues. even when i'm one of the people doing the interviewing, i don't like interviews. i know that you have to figure out the "fit" of potential candidates somehow, but interviews seem the very cruelest of ways to accomplish that.

nonetheless, it went well. i had been concerned about this second meeting with just her, as she'd indicated 2 weeks ago that "next steps" included interviews with the department staff (whom, should i be hired, would report to me) and the supervising vice president. as it turns out, she had a couple of questions that she wasn't sure we'd covered the first time around, due to repeated interruptions from said vice president...which, i discovered later, turned out to be related to the announcement that the university had just hired a new president—months sooner than anyone not associated with the selection process had anticipated (i.e., a legitimate reason for the interruptions).

i'm now invited back for the 3rd (with the staff) and 4th (with the vice president) interviews next week. this is where the "YIKES" comes in. as if worrying and being nervous about the interviews, themselves, weren't enough, i find myself worrying about (already!) problems i'll have if i'm hired: whether or not they'll offer a salary i'm comfortable with...if they're still sticking to their goal of having the new person in place by september 1 (which—given what i'd need to wrap up here, and the fact that i'm out for a week for my sister's wedding in 2 weeks—seems utterly impossible)...how i could ever wrap up all the loose ends here in time...how much time it's going to take to go through my files to "weed and pitch" and assemble those projects that i want to take with me for my "portfolio" (i've been here 5+ years)...what i need to do to "erase" my existence from the hard drive of this computer...what new route i'll have to take to get from s's office (where i drop her off each morning) to my (potential) new one, and how long it will take (yes, i went there already! *lol*)...and countless other things that should not even be crossing my mind at this point.

needless worry is the downside of being an anal-retentive planner (yes, i'm a
capricorn.). it serves me well much of the time, because worry about what could potentially go wrong with any given meeting, project, or plan can enable me to figure out how to actually prevent those things from going wrong...and i score major points for being thorough. other times, tho...worry threatens to completely stifle me. i just overdo it. sometimes i long to be this completely happy-go-lucky, worry-free person...but that is so not me. s is forever reminding me to just chill. even if i look relaxed, chances are, my mind is spinning 17,362 miles per minute in 1,463 directions (and she can see it in my eyes *grin*).

yesterday, as i perused the greeting card section at
target for the perfect "thank you" card for our student worker (who's off to law school next week), a smiling woman approached me and said:
"excuse me...but i saw your face...and...well, i'm an independent consultant for mary kay cosmetics, and would you like to be a face model during my meetings?"
maybe i should take her up on that offer, and forget all this worry about a job i don't have yet. *grin*

oops...i almost forgot the really big news: like
nappi, i'm genevieve!



take the
which one of the trading spaces cast are you? quiz!


vern is my favorite designer, but gen's cool. what a relief...i took the whole quiz, uhhh, worried that i'd end up being laurie or doug. :)
2:09 PM

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