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i am: 40...a capricorn / moon in pisces / libra rising...an old soul with a young spirit...older than i look...contemplating my 3rd tattoo...NOT a web designer...a lesbian...working things out with the g.f....a native iowan...a graduate of cornell college and ohio state...a critical reader and thinker...really rather shy...agnostic...an ardent feminist...a bleeding-heart liberal...a pacifist...and so not your average white grrl...
e-mail me
feeling generous? *grin*
Who Links Here
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June 22, 2003
o, canadanot only has canada legalized gay marriage...but now, our neighbor up north is considering the decriminalization of this (which is old news but, apparently, i haven't been paying attention).
so the question is: why am i sitting here typing, instead of packing??
when i started graduate school, one of the first people i met was dennis. as a ph.d. student in rhetoric and comp, he facilitated some of the orientation sessions that i was required to attend as a new t.a. (tho he told me, years later, that he first approached me because he liked my haircut *grin*).
den was probably the most brilliant person i've ever known (i mean, come on...the guy actually read derrida and foucault in his spare time). and he had some serious, serious style. even in jeans and a t-shirt, he always looked impeccably dressed. he had the coolest shoes. his spiky black hair never looked wrong, even on the rare occasion that it hadn't been gelled into place. he loved new order and the pet shop boys and kd lang, but also maria callas...he had a kick-ass stereo and he'd covered the walls of his tiny living room in 2-inch acoustic foam, so as not to miss a single exquisite note.
having grown up in his parents' restaurant in vancouver, he was also an amazing cook and connoisseur of chinese and thai cuisine...when we splurged and went to our favorite restaurant, he would insist on ordering for the whole table so that we could all share, and so that he could point out the delicious nuances of each dish (which could be a little annoying at times, but we never thought of not indulging him...he took such great pleasure in doing it). when we went out to the club, and while joyce and robert and i were getting our drink on, den would dance for hours on end without stopping. at the end of the night, drenched from head to toe, somehow he'd still be looking cute.
yeah...den was special. he was like no one i'd ever known and, since he died—10 years ago this summer...back when HIV-positive people almost always, eventually, did—i've never met anyone even remotely like him. despite all his remarkable qualities and little idiosyncracies, tho—and the fact that no one, not even his closest friends, knew how old he really was—the one (and often the first) thing that people always knew about him was that den was CANADIAN. he was forever extolling the virtues of his homeland, to the point that we'd all be yelling, "well, go BACK there, then, if you love it so much!" (tho we'd have been devastated if he actually had).
at the time, i didn't really understand den's die-hard loyalty to his native country...i certainly didn't feel that way about mine (hmmm, i wonder why not....). but as the years have passed, canada has continued to look like a more and more attactive place to live (the climate notwithstanding).
after the results of the last presidential election were (finally) in, s and i began a little inquiry into what exactly it would take for us to be able to move to canada. we each completed questionnaires (created by a canadian law firm) that i found online someplace, supposedly designed to assess our eligibility for emigration. what we found is that a) it would be very expensive, and b) my results deemed me eligible, while s's did not—a difference that i speculate may have been based on our answers to a couple of different questions (re: level of education and relatives in canada...while it did cross my mind, i'm assuming that race was not a factor). but the recent and impending legal changes in canada have got me thinking about it all over again.
of course, now, we could pretty easily get ourselves to toronto to get married. and then i could save (and otherwise prepare) to move there...and as my legal spouse, s should be eligible to come with me, right? hmmm...now there's something to think about.
10:22 AM
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