* * *




"No one's striving to be Miles Davis. Everybody's striving to get paid. And, you know, I wanna be like Miles Davis."
~Meshell Ndegeocello


order dance of the infidel

click for all things meshell


reading...
life on the color line: the true story of a white boy who discovered he was black by gregory howard williams

recently finished...
anagrams by lorrie moore

the dew breaker by edwidge danticat
(thanks, deshi!)

the mysteries of pittsburgh by michael chabon

she's not there: a life in two genders by jennifer finney boylan

venture...
all about george
anziblog
bgb.com
the brotherlove
btrfly_locs
the desh in me
ej flavors
kevin.daily
lynne d johnson
naya hri
NegroPlease
nubian soul
on a path
pheline
sister outsider
prime time
small hands
studpoet.com
that bitch



 
Archives
<< current


 
i am: 40...a capricorn / moon in pisces / libra rising...an old soul with a young spirit...older than i look...contemplating my 3rd tattoo...NOT a web designer...a lesbian...working things out with the g.f....a native iowan...a graduate of cornell college and ohio state...a critical reader and thinker...really rather shy...agnostic...an ardent feminist...a bleeding-heart liberal...a pacifist...and so not your average white grrl...

e-mail me


feeling generous? *grin*





Who Links Here


an esoteric soul
 
August 05, 2003  

bushwhacked

forwarded to me via e-mail:

[youknowwho]
The White House

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:


* I attacked and took over two countries.

* I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the Treasury.

* I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.

* I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

* I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

* I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

* I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

* In my first year in office, I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in U.S. history.

* After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

* I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any president in U.S. history.

* In my first two years in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.

* I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other president in U.S. history.

* I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

* I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in U.S. history.

* I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president since the advent of TV.

* I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any other president in U.S. history.

* I presided over the biggest energy crises in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

* I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.

* I cut health care benefits for war veterans.

* I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

* I dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.

* I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.

* Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.

* I am the first president in U.S. history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.

* I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any market in any country in the history of the world.

* I am the first president in U.S. history to order a U.S. attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

* I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

* I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any other president in U.S. history.

* I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the USA from the Human Rights Commission.

* I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the USA from the Elections Monitoring Board.

* I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.

* I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

* I withdrew from the World Court of Law.

* I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war and by default, no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

* I am the first president in U.S. history to refuse United Nations election inspectors access during the 2002 U.S. elections.

* I am the all-time U.S. (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

* The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

* I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.

* I am the first president to run and hide when the U.S. came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).

* I am the first U.S. president to establish a secret shadow government.

* I took the world's sympathy for the U.S. after 911, and in less than a year, made the U.S. the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in U.S. and world history).

* I am the first U.S. president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

* I am the first U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

* I changed U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

* I set the all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated USA law by not selling their huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.

* I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in U.S. history.

* In a little over two years, I have created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided that the U.S. has been since the civil war.

* I entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and in less than two years, turned every single economic category heading straight down.


RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

* I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).

* I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.

* I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.


PERSONAL REFERENCES:

* For personal references, please speak to my dad or uncle James Baker.
(They can be reached in their offices at the Carlyle Group where they are helping to divide up the spoils of the US-Iraq war and plan for the next one.)
1:05 PM

Comments: Post a Comment
 
This page is powered by Blogger.