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i am: 40...a capricorn / moon in pisces / libra rising...an old soul with a young spirit...older than i look...contemplating my 3rd tattoo...NOT a web designer...a lesbian...working things out with the g.f....a native iowan...a graduate of cornell college and ohio state...a critical reader and thinker...really rather shy...agnostic...an ardent feminist...a bleeding-heart liberal...a pacifist...and so not your average white grrl...
e-mail me
feeling generous? *grin*
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January 19, 2005
catching up, starting freshso, deshi wants to know what i’ve been up to during my extended hiatus from blogging. aside from continuing to be challenged at work (in one way or another); doing my usual friday happy hour thing with my boys (which often goes way beyond the traditional few hours after work); first anticipating, and now thoroughly enjoying, basketball season; and building a small obsession with collection of martin gordon striped shirts (if you own one, you understand)...i can honestly say, not a whole helluva lot.
i’ve been lazy. obviously not blogging. not really reading a lot (tho i’m trying to ease my way back into it). watching a lot of tv (albeit some of it, really, really good tv). blazing through my netflix queue at a speed that makes it a really good deal.
okay, so i did turn 40 this month. while the birthday itself wasn’t a big deal (as much as i had dreaded it for a few months prior), i do feel like this is a turning point. last year was my “rebuilding” year. it was a little rough at times. i cried a lot. some days...some entire weeks...were a struggle. start to finish.
this year, i’ve got: - my motto: shakin’ shit up in the ‘05. i'm not sure yet what exactly i'll be shakin' up, but it'll be somethin'. trust.
- my mantras: look forward and not back. focus on what i have, instead of on what i don’t. and redefine, redefine, redefine. that last one, in terms of my relationship to/with sandra. if i want her in my life at all--which i do--i MUST accept that it’s on new terms, as reluctant as i've been to see it as permanent.
- a whole new attitude. if i don’t change my own mindset, no one else will. nor will anyone want to hang out with me. ever, ever again.
i also have anitra (goddess love her) saying things like, "you're still one of the most rockstar-ish people i know. heh." :D at 40...what more could i want??
4:39 PM
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